ThickHeaded
by rjjoupa
Summary: A cute, short and FUNNY story about Harry and Ginny in Ron's point of view. Has slight RonHermionie. Rated for language and suggestive adult themes. Please review!


Thick-headed

**A/N** The plot is mine…but everything else belongs to the infamous J.K. Rowling. She is the true genius.

**Summary:** Short but cute story about Harry and Ginny in Ron's point of view, with a little bit of R/Hr.

Stupid and thick-headed doesn't even begin to describe my brain a fourth of the way. I, Ronald Weasley, am probably the only Weasley that has more money in my pocket than brain cells. Well, except for Percy, world's greatest git. Just the other day, Fred and George "accidently" threw a carton of eggs at him. Of course, I got blamed for it, and the bloody git made me wash his hair. Sick, I know. The twins never let me live it down. It had all this..lice in it and all this egg crap and his hair was all sticky. Did you know he uses Herbal Essence? No wonder he always smelled like a girl.. Not that I've sniffed girls before. I mean, Ok I'll admit I HAVE smelled 'Mione before, but only because… never mind.

I still have the scar on my foot where I dropped the shampoo bottle after Percy elbowed me in the ribs for smelling the yummy scent. It was Apple-Cranberry scented…I actually ate some shampoo. Ginny thought I had Rabies because there was some foam on my mouth. Hahah, that was funny. Ok, back to reality now. Well, anyways, back to my stupidity. See, about a week ago, I was walking up the stairs to a supposedly "empty" house, except I knew Ginny was home. I had to ask her if I could borrow her shaver because I broke mine. Honestly, I had so much hair on my armpits, I needed to brush it with a comb! It was all full of knots and stuff. But the reason I broke my shaver it because there was this huge stubble on my chin that my razor got caught on… It bled for 3 hours. I counted.

Well, as I was going up the stairs, I noticed something really strange. Ginny's room was closed. She never closes her door! Another thing, I couldn't hear anything from her room, and she has the noisiest room in the house! You can even hear her sneeze from the level below! I've heard her say many disturbing things in there. Girls, honestly, are completely crazy. I will be the last to understand them. 'Mione should write a book on them, for us guys to figure them out. Like this one time, I eavesdropped on Ginny's conversation with 'Mione during the summer before my 6th year. They were talking about some weird shit called tampons. What the bloody hell are those? I heard Ginny talking.

"Yeah, they feel like you have to go piss all the time,"

"GINNY! Don't swear! Well, I'm scared to try them," 'Mione replied.

"They're not that bad," Ginny said, laughing.

'Mione replied, "Do they hurt?" to which Ginny stopped and screamed "HELL YES!"

Eventually, I stopped listening after their conversation became all weird. I mean, Ginny took out this weird thing that I thought was a balloon and said to 'Mione, "Hermionie, I want to teach you something. It's called how to make a guy go insane," and now I think I know what she was talking about. Sick. I never knew my little sister was such a.. slag! That is disgusting. She was only 15 AT THE TIME!

Okay, well, I was about to open the door when I realized it was locked. "Bloody hell," I thought. "What's she doing in there?" As I whispered alohamora and opened the door, I nearly pissed in my pants.

WHY DID MY SHAVER HAVE TO BREAK! I did NOT NEED TO SEE WHAT SHE WAS DOING IN THERE. OH MY! BLOODY HELL! I'm scarred for life! Except the time when I walked in on Percy in the shower. Nasty site, believe me. He was singing some song called "My Immortal" or something and I came in to tell him to shut up. I thought he was just singing for the heck of it, but it turns out he was taking a shower! Well, I am thick-headed, so naturally, I didn't hear the water running. Well, anyways, Ginny was snogging Harry! My best mate! Sad, I know! Except for the fact that they were half-naked…Trust me, it's not cool seeing your best mate in boxers and your sister in her undergarments. I just stood there for 5 minutes, watching the two slobber all over each other. Ginny didn't even notice me! She must be thicker than I am! Well, I screamed "Oy!" just in time before Harry almost removed her bra.

"Ron! What the FUCK do you think you are doing?" she screamed at me.

"I should be asking you the same thing," I screamed back.

"Didn't you notice the bloody door was closed, and LOCKED for that matter?" she said, the infamous Weasley temper building up inside of her, along with mine.

"Ron, the door was bloody closed, you know, and I'm sure you know what that means. Wait, I forgot, no you don't sorry," Harry said, laughing a little.

"GET YOUR BLOODY HANDS OFF OF MY FUCKING SISTER," I screamed at him, wanting to claw his eyes out.

"That is what we were GOING to do before YOU came in," Ginny said with a sly and devious smile, turning back to Harry, but not before pushing me out the door and locking it. She didn't even bother with the silencing charm anymore, and I heard EVERYTHING. Oh god, I will never get those sounds out of my head. It was sick, hearing my sister and my best friends moan like there was no tomorrow. My sister got laid before I did! I can't believe it! I was so angry and livid that I just wanted to…..eat a sandwich.

Well, it's breakfast right now, and I'm still angry. So very angry. I made myself a sandwich. It has ham and cheese and lettuce and tomatoes and onions in it with a dash of mayonnaise. I call it the sandwich. Yeah. Well, anyways, it is very awkward at the table. Ginny must've told 'Mione about what happened because she kept ignoring me. I hate it when she does that. Well, Harry and Ginny keep snogging and mum and dad don't really care, and my brothers don't really care either. Except for the twins, but I doubt that they will do anything against them..

Well, breakfast is over now because we all finished…eating. I followed Harry, Ginny, and 'Mione outside where they started talking.

"Yeah, he can be a real ass sometimes Ginny," 'Mione said soothingly. Wow, I had never heard her swear before.

"It's just that, I love Harry, but the bloody git can't seem to understand it! He's too overprotective of him. One time, when dad's boss was over when I was 10, he started talking to me about quidditch and Ron comes up and wiped a booger on him as a 'warning' to stay away from me," Ginny said, talking through laughter and tears.

"Well, it's just that I thought he was talking about something else!" I said, gobsmacked at what she said.

"You stay away from me, Ron! I'm 18, alright! I can do whatever I want, whenever I want to!" she screamed at me.

"Look, I'm sorry, alright! I'm just..sorry ! I guess I got jealous, alright!"

Ginny stopped crying and looked at Harry, who was just smiling the whole time, and 'Mione was beaming.

"What were you jealous of?" Ginny said, smirking. You know, there's some here who would love t—"

"GINNY!" screamed 'Mione, and she ran away from a laughing Harry and Ginny.

I wonder what that was all about….


End file.
